Looking Back

I have been a fan of Korean Pop for quite a while. I literally spent ALL of my teenage life watching these idols, laughing over their crazy antics, crying over their pain, and making sure they win all the awards they deserve. I have been a fan and have also come to points where only they ever mattered to me.

I have always liked watching music videos. I was mostly on music channels back when we still had cable connection. It was in 2009 that through these, I had my encounter with K-Pop. 2ne1, Super Junior, Wonder Girls’ videos were always played on these music channels.

But my life as a fangirl started when I got to watch a video of Girls’ Generation’s Genie(Sowoneul Malhaebwa) around August of the same year. I used to wait for it to be played everyday at a certain music channel. I remember wanting to sing and dance after watching it, the latter never went into mind that I would ever do. It was then that I also did my research about the group and memorizing their members.

In 2010, I remember it was the first time I got introduced to the group’s fandom called ‘SONE’. I started to watch their live shows as well as their reality shows. I had the chance to talk to a few fans. All year I spent my time following the girls. At the same year, I got to know a couple of groups called SHINee and B2ST whom I had interest in as well. My first two albums were bought in December.

2011 was one of the most memorable years for me. It was then when I started to join groups and became administrator of several fan pages and sites. It was when I was at what I might be able to compare to the ‘peak’ of my fan life. I got to talk to more fans and I had the chance to become friends with some of them. I received updates from these fans everyday. I had a couple of albums added to my collection.

2012 was the year I decided to temporarily stop. I had the same routine by the first few months of the year, but when I became a fourth year high school student, I decided to focus on what was more important. I decided that I should focus on school and other obligations. I had high hopes for NU’EST, a rookie group at that time.

By 2013, I graduated from high school and went onto college. I would say it was both a disappointing year and a year of fun. It was disappointing as SNSD went to my country but I never came and fun because it was the year I got to meet a lot of fans online. Some friendships have lasted for a couple of years (and hopefully more!) already. I had a few albums added to my collection and a LOT of merchandise, too.

2014 was the most heartbreaking year, yet. It was the start of what I feared most. The first part of the year was already disappointing as I did not do enough to pass a subject. By May of the year, we received the news of EXO’s Kris leaving. I had a really hard time as it was the first time that I got to experience such a heartbreak. I remember that day, we had white pasta for dinner but I couldn’t finish it. It was a really sad day, I spent most of the day crying over a member that left. The same happened in September. One of the members of Girls’ Generation, Jessica, had to leave or had left (I still do not know what to believe). It was supposed to be a day of fun as it was the acquaintance party of the organization I was in, but it was ruined. I couldn’t think straight that day. Who ever knew it would happen, right? It was crazy. My heart was in pieces.

It was also in 2014 that I had my second hiatus from K-Pop. I saw the damage my addiction was making and knew it had to stop. By late July, I deactivated my twitter, stopped following groups and focused on studying.

2014 was also the year I got to attend my first concert. I went to Dream K-pop Fantasy Concert 2 which had Super Junior, B.A.P, BTOB, A-Jax, A-Prince and Block B attended.

2015, a year of comeback. In March of the year, I went back and reactivated my twitter. I had a lot of people I missed, updates that I didn’t know anything about, a bunch of stuff I didn’t know. It was more than half a year and I knew nothing anymore. A lot of groups had debuted by the time of my hiatus.

2015, I got more updates about K-Pop. I got to watch some groups debut. Got to like a few of these groups, too. I met more people from different fandoms. It is a crazy year, and a year I am thankful for.

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