Another Birthday

I started the day by watching the final episode of Produce 101 Season 2 and boy, was it a wrong move. I became stressed and more tired watching it. I really wish Samuel and Jonghyun will debut in Wanna One. The show ended at 2AM and I slept afterwards. I think I cried for a bit.

June 17, my day of all the days in the year. The day I am most excited for and give myself everything I want — my birthday.

I woke up around 6 in the morning and went back to sleep. I woke up half past eight and immediately went to the bathroom to take a bath — I had classes. I got downstairs to see my mom cooking Carbonara. I was running late, but I still ate. Nobody says no to pasta.

I left the house rather late and arrived in my class 20 minutes late. The professor seemed nice (although I can feel the guy will be strict once the lessons start) and motivated us.

We were dismissed at 12:30PM and my classmates greeted me. I bought them fries to somehow celebrate, although I really don’t do that on my birthday. I don’t have big celebrations and try to make the day as simple and normal as possible, although I always have a party by myself running through my mind the whole day. What irritated me after class was that a classmate kept on asking me to treat them to lunch. I was fuming.

After lunch, we went to the room for our next class and waited for a few minutes before the professor arrived. A little orientation and we were sent home. Sadly, my classmates wanted to stay for a while. I did get to take photos of the sky and plants, though, so I wasn’t too bored waiting for them.

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I got up and headed home at 3:30. I went around the mall near my house for a while for the air condition. It’s badly hot in my place. I went to the kiosk with the used books and found this book at the top of everything else. I felt like I was meant to see and buy it, and eventually read it.
I decided to go home. While on my way, I saw this newly opened bakeshop a friend told me about and went inside. I looked for a cake and they offered a discounted cake. I was looking at a chocolate cake but decided to take the cake they were offering, thinking I can buy the chocolate one some other time. It was called Strawberry Surprise and my family loves it!

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I arrived home and found only my brother and his classmates were in. I brought home quail eggs and ate it with them. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. My dad arrived an hour later and I was too upset to talk to him. I didn’t speak to anyone and didn’t get out of my room that evening.

I opened my cake a few minutes before midnight and lit and blew the candles by myself. It was nice, quiet and alone. It had a calming feeling. I spent the rest of the night playing the Kardashian game.

Oh, and I turned 21 that day. It wasn’t the best day and I was the reason why but being able to spend the day technically by myself, calmed me down. I enjoyed it. I’m also getting older. It seems unreal. I want to be able to have better and more productive days ahead.

I hope everyone is enjoying themselves and is having a nice day~

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Sixth Month

It’s finally June!

Can’t believe we are already on the last month of the first half of the year. It seems like yesterday when I had my first post in 2017. I anticipated this year as my favorite number is 17 — the same day I was born.

It has been a month and five days since my grandma passed away, too.

Classes start on the 13th and it will be my final week for the summer vacation. I can’t believe it’s already the last. I want a year long vacation, or two. I plan on watching a movie, visiting the National Museum and the Planetarium the same day. I also started watching Kyou Kara Maou and hopefully finishes in three or four days. I still have things I have to advance study. I found out three out of my seven courses for the semester have strict professors. Wish me luck.

I’ll be posting two or three unboxings, my collection, and my three month late One K Concert experience blog post by the week. I plan on editing my old posts as well.

My birthday falls on the 17th of this month. I have a class schedule on the day until evening. 😦 I still have to plan what to do afterwards, I feel like watching a movie and eating at a restaurant alone.

End of the month would mean a few days to the Super Pop Con in the Philippines. I will be attending for BTOB, BAP, and B1A4, primarily, but looking forward to the other groups and Kriesha as well!

Will be enjoying my month. Hopefully, won’t be having too much school work yet~

Hope everyone takes care, bye~

An Award in Korean Class

I enrolled to a Korean class last January and it ended last month, April. I was told by a friend that out of 25 students, only 5 of them were able to pass the course and it made me nervous.

Along with not wanting to fail, I was silently competitive. Korean language class removes my stress away and I wanted to do good in it. I did not tell anyone but I was trying to learn more than I should and tried to get high scores on our class activities so as to not fail the class.

Thankfully, all my hard work paid off. I passed the final exam in Korean class.

Although my only goal was to pass the class, on the 21st of April, a day before the graduation, I received a text saying that I was chosen as one of the best students in our class.

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Passing Away

Hello! It’s been a while.

I have a ton of blogs to be posted by the week which were originally planned to be posted last week but the family had been busy.

The week before today, my grandmother had unfortunately passed away.

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She had been bedridden for the last three months if I am correct. She was first not able to walk, she was not able to move her legs, the cause is unknown. Then she was not able to move her arms well. Then, I saw her lose weight every single time I visited her. Her house is in the same compound as ours so it was easy to come by. By early April, she had probably lost half of her weight. It was hard for me to look at her. My mom said that my grandma tried to stop eating to stop urinating and defecating as she thought it was hard for her daughter, my aunt, to take her from the bed to the comfort room. She didn’t want my aunt to suffer, too. By the end of April, she was unable to tell her body how and when to move. Her head and her left arm moved on its own. She was not able to open her eyes nor talk to us. She was brought in the hospital by April 28th, as I was told.

The first time I visited her in their house when she was not able to stand anymore, she kept asking to change her clothes. She wanted to look pretty and it was hard for us to talk to her. She kept repeating the same things over and over. And she kept telling me how unpretty she has gotten. It was all very hard to hear. I wanted to tell her to keep holding on and that things would get better. I told her she promised to go to my graduation, months prior. I wanted her to keep something in mind to help her recover. She teared up at times, and though I didn’t show it, I also did.

I tried to visit as much as I can but at times, it was hard to do so. There was a time I bought soda from her store and as I always do, I pass by her house before going back. She asked if I didn’t want to see her as I was in a hurry; it hurt a bit. I was already eating with my family the time I bought the soda. I didn’t want to keep them waiting. Hearing her say that, it might have hurt a lot.

I have been with my grandma, lola Lydia as we call her, since I was about a year old. She took care of me and my cousins. I was the second granddaughter, I was close to her. We all were.

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My grandma had said more times than a few that she wanted her suffering to end, and she wanted to die. It hurt. I loved her and it hurt. And as someone who had wished the same too many times, it hurt. I didn’t know what kind of pain she was feeling, but nevertheless was at pain. And it hurt that I couldn’t do anything about it.

She had a mini-store where I pass by whenever I went to and from my school. It was a routine — passing by and telling her how I think my day would be and what I have been up to these days and coming home saying Hi and telling her how my day did go. When she was not able to walk, it was hard and felt incomplete when I was not able to bid her good bye.

I might or might not have any more stories to tell but I’ll cut this off and tell you about the first week of May, 2017.

By 11 in the morning, my uncle was asked to come to the hospital for the doctors and nurses had started doing CPR to my grandma. I was thinking twice about going and my mom went to Rizal so I called her. By 12NN, my siblings and I arrived at the hospital. A few minutes later, at around 12:20PM, my grandma has passed away.

The doctors said that due to her old age and being malnourished, my grandma was not able to be revived. She could not take it anymore and her body had stopped responding. We went inside her room and it might have been the first time I saw my aunt and uncle cry. It was the first time in years they’ve seen me do so, too.

After waiting for everyone we called, we all individually said our good bye’s. It hurt that she had passed a few minutes before. I kissed her forehead for the first and last time. I did mano one last time. It was the last wish she asked of me when I once visited her at her house.

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We stayed at the hospital until around the 4PM. It was hard to leave but it was better to have left grandma’s children there with her, to talk to each other.

I took a shower after arriving home, and while there, I poured my heart out. I had two regrets: promising myself to buy her groceries for her store when the time came but not being able to do so (I planned to do it by June) and not taking a selca with her. I cried a lot more the rest of the day.

I am one that tries not to regret all that I have no power doing something over. I try my hardest to.

By the evening, grandma was taken to St. Peter’s in Quezon Avenue. By Tuesday, she was moved to a temporary room. By Wednesday, her wake started. We all went there.

I went there again by Thursday and then again by Friday. I spent the night from Friday through Saturday morning, went home by the morning and came back again the afternoon. I spent the last day, Saturday, in the chapel still until the morning of Sunday.

By Sunday, May 7th, a mass was held. Then, she was brought to Himlayang Pilipino and was buried there. It was cloudy and it rained a bit.

White balloons were bought which were later released after her burial.

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I saw my grandpa, her brother, cry over her, when they said good bye. It was a few past 2PM when it happened.

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I want my grandma to know that I love her and I am thankful that she is no longer in pain. I will be doing my best to graduate. I hope that she is happy where she is now.

 

Korean Final Exam!

I took Korean classes from January 2017 until April 2017 in the Korean Cultural Center of the Philippines. We had our exam last April 20th and it was nerve-wracking. I did not study a lot during the week break we had and I could not sleep the night before. Thankfully, I was able to review a bit before the exam started.

I thought I would not be able to answer the reading and writing parts, but I did! I would like to thank my The Listening part was confusing and I had to guess the answer for about three or five questions.

The Speaking part of the exam was done after the three. Each of us were called out (mostly volunteered) and I was really nervous. I kept thinking how bad my pronunciation was and if I could actually answer the questions — well, I did. I did answer all 10 questions but wasn’t sure in a few of them, but I did!

When I was done, I went out of the room and talked to the other classmates who were yet to be called. I got a few seconds of happiness when a classmate told me my Korean pronunciation was good. Another classmate agreed with her, telling me the same. They said I was great in speaking. I remember going home feeling good about myself.

When I got home, though, I started overthinking and thought I was never going to pass because of the Listening exam. I thought I would fail the whole course.

But I didn’t! I passed the course and got an award as well!

See: An Award in Korean

Taking Up Elementary Korean

I started taking Korean language classes in the Korean Cultural Center of the Philippines last year in May. I first took the Basic Korean class and it had shed some light. I did not plan on studying furthermore as my main purpose was only to find out how to pronounce the letters right but figured halfway through the basic class that this would give a wider range of opportunities for me.

The basic class I took ended in August and the next term started the next month. I planned to take a class then but they were sold out too fast for me to be able to get a slot.

In January 2017, I waited for the registration for the 1st term of the year. It was supposed to be open by 10AM on the 13th of January but were pushed back twice because of the heavy traffic the site was getting. I was nervous the whole time but thankfully was able to get the class I wanted to enroll in.

The classes went on from January till April. I took the Tuesday/Thursday morning classes. My college schedule clashed with it, making it harder for me to concentrate during the afternoon classes I had in school. I had to travel from the Korean class to my college for about an hour. It was exhausting. It was most difficult when I had major exams. I take a bus and a jeepney to school from the Korean class building.

Our teacher was Teacher Kang and she had a good sense of humor. She told a lot of jokes although she was somehow shy as well.

My seatmate looked a bit intimidating on the first meeting but she was really nice and I enjoyed talking to her. We were able to talk a lot about the classes and my school and her work. And like any other ate, she gave out advises for my future job and even allowed me to put her as my Character Reference on the resume I made.

The first three classes were alright. We talked about Hangul so I found it boring. The teacher was interesting though. The next few chapters were okay as well. But when we got to further into the book, it became harder to understand, much like getting the information to stick to my brain. There were times I could only laugh at how hard it was to understand. My seatmate was in it, too. Some days were days we all went ‘did you understand?’ ‘no I didn’t’ ‘me, too’; more often than it should.

Throughout the term, we studied about two chapters per meeting and we finished the book by the first week of April. We only had 4 quizzes — two vocabulary quizzes and two reading and writing quizzes. I wished we had more.

Coming from Basic Korean class to Elementary 1 was a lot easier than going straight to Elementary 1. Most of my classmates did not take Basic Korean and so had a more difficult time with reading and writing, as well as keeping up with the lessons. So I do suggest enrolling to Basic Korean first before continuing on to Elementary 1.

The part of the lessons wherein I had a difficult time with was using the -bnida/-seumnida rather than using the -yeyo/-ieyo, which we studied in Basic Korean so I suggest taking time to keep them in mind. Nowadays, I am more used to the former than the latter.

See: Korean Final Exam

I passed the subject, by the way. I plan on taking up Elementary 2 by May.

See: An Award in Korean Class

All in all, I had a good experience in the class. I used to compare my former teacher to my current teacher but I shouldn’t have. I like them both. I am now able to translate a few sentences and can also express myself in Korean. This was fun. I want to learn more and hopefully one day, I would be fluent in the language.

It’s not wrong to like eating alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy traveling alone.
It’s not wrong to choose to walk alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy being alone.
Stop giving me disgusted and disappointed faces when I tell you I want and choose to be alone.