Passing Away

Hello! It’s been a while.

I have a ton of blogs to be posted by the week which were originally planned to be posted last week but the family had been busy.

The week before today, my grandmother had unfortunately passed away.

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She had been bedridden for the last three months if I am correct. She was first not able to walk, she was not able to move her legs, the cause is unknown. Then she was not able to move her arms well. Then, I saw her lose weight every single time I visited her. Her house is in the same compound as ours so it was easy to come by. By early April, she had probably lost half of her weight. It was hard for me to look at her. My mom said that my grandma tried to stop eating to stop urinating and defecating as she thought it was hard for her daughter, my aunt, to take her from the bed to the comfort room. She didn’t want my aunt to suffer, too. By the end of April, she was unable to tell her body how and when to move. Her head and her left arm moved on its own. She was not able to open her eyes nor talk to us. She was brought in the hospital by April 28th, as I was told.

The first time I visited her in their house when she was not able to stand anymore, she kept asking to change her clothes. She wanted to look pretty and it was hard for us to talk to her. She kept repeating the same things over and over. And she kept telling me how unpretty she has gotten. It was all very hard to hear. I wanted to tell her to keep holding on and that things would get better. I told her she promised to go to my graduation, months prior. I wanted her to keep something in mind to help her recover. She teared up at times, and though I didn’t show it, I also did.

I tried to visit as much as I can but at times, it was hard to do so. There was a time I bought soda from her store and as I always do, I pass by her house before going back. She asked if I didn’t want to see her as I was in a hurry; it hurt a bit. I was already eating with my family the time I bought the soda. I didn’t want to keep them waiting. Hearing her say that, it might have hurt a lot.

I have been with my grandma, lola Lydia as we call her, since I was about a year old. She took care of me and my cousins. I was the second granddaughter, I was close to her. We all were.

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My grandma had said more times than a few that she wanted her suffering to end, and she wanted to die. It hurt. I loved her and it hurt. And as someone who had wished the same too many times, it hurt. I didn’t know what kind of pain she was feeling, but nevertheless was at pain. And it hurt that I couldn’t do anything about it.

She had a mini-store where I pass by whenever I went to and from my school. It was a routine — passing by and telling her how I think my day would be and what I have been up to these days and coming home saying Hi and telling her how my day did go. When she was not able to walk, it was hard and felt incomplete when I was not able to bid her good bye.

I might or might not have any more stories to tell but I’ll cut this off and tell you about the first week of May, 2017.

By 11 in the morning, my uncle was asked to come to the hospital for the doctors and nurses had started doing CPR to my grandma. I was thinking twice about going and my mom went to Rizal so I called her. By 12NN, my siblings and I arrived at the hospital. A few minutes later, at around 12:20PM, my grandma has passed away.

The doctors said that due to her old age and being malnourished, my grandma was not able to be revived. She could not take it anymore and her body had stopped responding. We went inside her room and it might have been the first time I saw my aunt and uncle cry. It was the first time in years they’ve seen me do so, too.

After waiting for everyone we called, we all individually said our good bye’s. It hurt that she had passed a few minutes before. I kissed her forehead for the first and last time. I did mano one last time. It was the last wish she asked of me when I once visited her at her house.

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We stayed at the hospital until around the 4PM. It was hard to leave but it was better to have left grandma’s children there with her, to talk to each other.

I took a shower after arriving home, and while there, I poured my heart out. I had two regrets: promising myself to buy her groceries for her store when the time came but not being able to do so (I planned to do it by June) and not taking a selca with her. I cried a lot more the rest of the day.

I am one that tries not to regret all that I have no power doing something over. I try my hardest to.

By the evening, grandma was taken to St. Peter’s in Quezon Avenue. By Tuesday, she was moved to a temporary room. By Wednesday, her wake started. We all went there.

I went there again by Thursday and then again by Friday. I spent the night from Friday through Saturday morning, went home by the morning and came back again the afternoon. I spent the last day, Saturday, in the chapel still until the morning of Sunday.

By Sunday, May 7th, a mass was held. Then, she was brought to Himlayang Pilipino and was buried there. It was cloudy and it rained a bit.

White balloons were bought which were later released after her burial.

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I saw my grandpa, her brother, cry over her, when they said good bye. It was a few past 2PM when it happened.

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I want my grandma to know that I love her and I am thankful that she is no longer in pain. I will be doing my best to graduate. I hope that she is happy where she is now.

 

Korean Final Exam!

I took Korean classes from January 2017 until April 2017 in the Korean Cultural Center of the Philippines. We had our exam last April 20th and it was nerve-wracking. I did not study a lot during the week break we had and I could not sleep the night before. Thankfully, I was able to review a bit before the exam started.

I thought I would not be able to answer the reading and writing parts, but I did! I would like to thank my The Listening part was confusing and I had to guess the answer for about three or five questions.

The Speaking part of the exam was done after the three. Each of us were called out (mostly volunteered) and I was really nervous. I kept thinking how bad my pronunciation was and if I could actually answer the questions — well, I did. I did answer all 10 questions but wasn’t sure in a few of them, but I did!

When I was done, I went out of the room and talked to the other classmates who were yet to be called. I got a few seconds of happiness when a classmate told me my Korean pronunciation was good. Another classmate agreed with her, telling me the same. They said I was great in speaking. I remember going home feeling good about myself.

When I got home, though, I started overthinking and thought I was never going to pass because of the Listening exam. I thought I would fail the whole course.

But I didn’t! I passed the course and got an award as well!

See: An Award in Korean

Taking Up Elementary Korean

I started taking Korean language classes in the Korean Cultural Center of the Philippines last year in May. I first took the Basic Korean class and it had shed some light. I did not plan on studying furthermore as my main purpose was only to find out how to pronounce the letters right but figured halfway through the basic class that this would give a wider range of opportunities for me.

The basic class I took ended in August and the next term started the next month. I planned to take a class then but they were sold out too fast for me to be able to get a slot.

In January 2017, I waited for the registration for the 1st term of the year. It was supposed to be open by 10AM on the 13th of January but were pushed back twice because of the heavy traffic the site was getting. I was nervous the whole time but thankfully was able to get the class I wanted to enroll in.

The classes went on from January till April. I took the Tuesday/Thursday morning classes. My college schedule clashed with it, making it harder for me to concentrate during the afternoon classes I had in school. I had to travel from the Korean class to my college for about an hour. It was exhausting. It was most difficult when I had major exams. I take a bus and a jeepney to school from the Korean class building.

Our teacher was Teacher Kang and she had a good sense of humor. She told a lot of jokes although she was somehow shy as well.

My seatmate looked a bit intimidating on the first meeting but she was really nice and I enjoyed talking to her. We were able to talk a lot about the classes and my school and her work. And like any other ate, she gave out advises for my future job and even allowed me to put her as my Character Reference on the resume I made.

The first three classes were alright. We talked about Hangul so I found it boring. The teacher was interesting though. The next few chapters were okay as well. But when we got to further into the book, it became harder to understand, much like getting the information to stick to my brain. There were times I could only laugh at how hard it was to understand. My seatmate was in it, too. Some days were days we all went ‘did you understand?’ ‘no I didn’t’ ‘me, too’; more often than it should.

Throughout the term, we studied about two chapters per meeting and we finished the book by the first week of April. We only had 4 quizzes — two vocabulary quizzes and two reading and writing quizzes. I wished we had more.

Coming from Basic Korean class to Elementary 1 was a lot easier than going straight to Elementary 1. Most of my classmates did not take Basic Korean and so had a more difficult time with reading and writing, as well as keeping up with the lessons. So I do suggest enrolling to Basic Korean first before continuing on to Elementary 1.

The part of the lessons wherein I had a difficult time with was using the -bnida/-seumnida rather than using the -yeyo/-ieyo, which we studied in Basic Korean so I suggest taking time to keep them in mind. Nowadays, I am more used to the former than the latter.

See: Korean Final Exam

I passed the subject, by the way. I plan on taking up Elementary 2 by May.

See: An Award in Korean Class

All in all, I had a good experience in the class. I used to compare my former teacher to my current teacher but I shouldn’t have. I like them both. I am now able to translate a few sentences and can also express myself in Korean. This was fun. I want to learn more and hopefully one day, I would be fluent in the language.

Another Movie Alone

Last February 2, I went to the cinema alone for the first time this year. I went alone for the actual first last year, August 2nd, if I remember correctly and I loved the feeling, promising myself to do it again.

I bought a ticket to watch Kung Fu Yoga, a movie starring Jackie Chan. I had to choose between Kung Fu Yoga and Space Between Us but figured I should watch a Jackie Chan movie in a cinema at least once in my life. (I was only able to watch the Tagalized movies shown on local channels.)

Like last time, it was fun. I bought two slices of pizza, a small popcorn, bread, hotdog sandwich and cola. The popcorn-sandwich set had free chocolate, too.c3vhgoxuoae7tve

As the movie watching was not planned, I did not know anything about the movie I decided to watch. I only wanted to have a time alone and enjoy a movie with Jackie Chan in it. When the movie started, EXO’s Lay showed up and the fangirl in me awoke. His white skin and dimples are too much for me.

In different parts of the movie, I couldn’t help but smile over the fact that Lay was there. It was the best when he wore sunglasses. A favorite part was Jackie with the lion in the car part. It was funny. Another was the last part with everyone dancing.

As I am not good with adjectives (yet), I will not be writing a review about the movie. Nevertheless, I can say that I enjoyed the entire movie, though I had a few moments where I only stared at Lay. This would be the most memorable Chan movie for me yet. I wanted to rewatch it in the cinemas but I was short on money the weeks after.

Now, in April, I plan on watching a movie by myself again, considering I was not able to buy a ticket for the Wings Tour in MNL.

Presents

I woke up in the middle of the day on the 30th of December and immediately went to the bathroom deciding to take a shower. Feeling thirsty, I went downstairs. I found that there was a package on the table. I knew it was for me, I was notified about it and have been waiting for days.

I delayed my bath and opened the package. I recorded a short video to thank the person who gave it to me. I don’t think I sent it to her though.

My first thought was that, she shouldn’t have bothered to. And that LBC was mightily expensive a courier to use. But it’s already done so I stopped complaining. IMG_20161230_130532

I loved the amount of bubble wrap used.

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I opened it and it had a bunch of cute stuff. It also had BTS merchandise (as the friend is a BTS fan).

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I’m not gonna lie, until now, I can’t remember who’s who from the Hiphop Monsters. I can recognize about three but forget how they look like again after a while. Who is that on the pin? IMG_20170101_131833

My favorite is the Jimin fan out of everything in the package. It was the first fansite fan I have ever owned. IMG_20170101_131445

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I don’t get a lot of presents. I barely get them because I don’t allow people to. I guess it’s nice to receive some every once in a while, though. I’ll always be thankful for this set of presents I got last year. A great year-ender indeed.

It’s not wrong to like eating alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy traveling alone.
It’s not wrong to choose to walk alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy being alone.
Stop giving me disgusted and disappointed faces when I tell you I want and choose to be alone.

Groceries

I started last Sunday, March 12th, the same as I always do — I wake up at 6AM, get out of bed after a couple of hours, and try to feed myself with the non-existing breakfast we have.

I planned on studying the whole day as I had a quiz on Logic Circuits and an exam on System Administrations course — I didn’t.

I went online for most of the day and around 4PM, I left to buy groceries with my parents and my siblings.

I went to buy Yum Yum. I also took a couple of ramyeon and tried to look for cookies. It was exam week and I wanted to buy as much as I can so I have something to eat when I start studying.

While paying for the groceries, I saw my mom playing on the mini-games they offered at the market. My dad kept paying by the thousands for the groceries — the mini-games can be played when you buy 1000 pesos worth of groceries.

We were able to get 7 tickets and divided them to the four of us (my dad did not want to play).

There were two games, including flip the bottle. That was the first time I’ve ever tried it. It was fun and was a stress-reliever.

As we bought a bit too many groceries, we were not able to eat out and went straight home.

Once home, we were able to cook for food and had ham sandwich. We also cleaned up and arranged the groceries.

I tried to study until 7:00PM, when we had to prepare to go to mass. 

I spent the rest of the night doing nothing but panicking over my quiz and exam the next day.