A Day With Relatives

Last Sunday, May 14th, marked the seventh day since my grandmother’s burial. It was also Mother’s day so we decided to visit her.

I went with my siblings, my cousins, and my aunt and uncles. My dad had work so he couldn’t come.

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When we got to the place, the place where she was buried was not cleaned yet, sadly. We tried to flatten the ground. We prayed afterwards. We went to our grandfather’s grave next. It was a few minutes walk from my grandma’s to my grandpa’s place.

The sun was setting and the color of the sky was changing.

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We prayed and stayed a while. We left before the sun finally set.

We took a walk from the place to where the cars could pass by. We waited for a tricycle and it took about 20 minutes. We visited Jollibee and ate a lot.

It was something we always did: visiting grandpa’s grave and eating at Jollibee. We’ve done it for years, except now, we don’t have our grandma to eat with us.

Going out with my relatives bring up a lot of good memories. We were able to talk a lot. I love them. I’m pretty close to them and I’m thankful to still have them.

I’m sure my grandma is now in a more peaceful place.

I took a few more photos while inside the cemetery. Enjoy~

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It’s not wrong to like eating alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy traveling alone.
It’s not wrong to choose to walk alone.
It’s not wrong to enjoy being alone.
Stop giving me disgusted and disappointed faces when I tell you I want and choose to be alone.

Two Weeks

Fourteen days have already passed since the year started. It’s been going okay for me. I have had a few great experiences for the past two weeks.

I started the new year greeting my family and relatives. We watched the firecrackers they set outside the house although I am still scared of loud noises, making me cover my ears for more than a few minutes. I feel better. I couldn’t watch firecrackers and fireworks before. They bother me and make me nervous with their surprisingly loud noise. I remember praying before I slept that morning. It was fun. I attended the mass in the evening by myself.

I can’t quite remember what happened on the second, we probably had pizza, but on the third of January, we celebrated our brother’s birthday by using up most of our energy to renew our passports. We spent more than five hours in line getting everything finished up. We had breakfast at McDonald’s in the morning and ate our late lunch, almost dinner meal at Shakey’s. I enjoyed the time we had as we don’t always get together and go out. It was nice. I skipped school that day, by the way.

We had classes by the fourth and it was a bummer. The two-week vacation we had was too short. Two of my friends gave me late Christmas presents. We had CCNA classes in the morning and watched the basketball game by the afternoon. Our department team won and moved on to the finals. Also, their win meant we won’t have classes in the evening. I went home earlier than expected.

By the fifth, I went to my only class at 4:30PM. It’s always tempting to not attend class as it was too late in the afternoon. I would rather stay home, but I can’t do that. I got lost as apparently, our classrooms change every meeting. How will I get by this? I got a glimpse of a classmate entering a room and I followed her. When I entered the room, one of my classmates told me I was getting prettier. There was no hint of him just kidding around, but even he was, it was nice to hear. I don’t hear those words being said to me. Heck, it was probably the first time.

It was GOT7’s Jaebum’s birthday on the sixth and I planned on buying cake both because I wanted to somehow celebrate his birthday and I wanted cake so bad. We prepared a few things for him a few minutes before the day ended (in Korea). It was funny. We hadn’t done this in years. c1fsiipucaaztzk

I didn’t attend class on the 7th as I had my check up. I have not been able to go to my doctor for about half a year and I felt the need to that time. My doctor scolded me. My mom was too much. I just wanted to go home that day. Turned out, my professor cancelled class the following week. Bummer.

The eighth day was normal. I slept late then woke up late. I got up past 1PM. I attended the mass in the evening.

The ninth day was tiring and disappointing. We had classes in the morning until 3 in the afternoon. We watched the basketball game but our department team lost. I don’t like watching and cheering for teams as it is awfully painful when they lose, but still, I’m thankful to have seen them play. This one guy from the team wearing a headband looked so good? Hehe~ We had classes and a seatwork in the evening.

What happened on the 10th, I cannot remember. Oh! I got asked if I was serious my name was ‘Bessie’ for the nth time. I was able to talk to a classmate. I need more adjectives.

We had a CCNA exam in the morning of the eleventh day. I got bad scores, sadly. I will do my best on the next ones. We watched the basketball game for the battle of the third place, and thankfully, our team won. I still need more adjectives. We had no classes in the evening because of the team’s win.

The twelfth was pretty busy. I went to school by 2PM as I was supposed to eat out with a couple of classmates but the traffic was awfully slow. I ended up by myself. I was texted by my unni around three and she told me to come with them. We ate at a ramyeon house near the school and it was yummy. It was spicy, which I don’t especially like, but it was good. I ate kimbap as well. A guy I think I’m starting to like high-fived me and I got all these butterflies. It was just for a few seconds but it was nice. We went to class by 4:30PM and was dismissed by 5:45PM. I went to the mall near our house and ran around looking for a cake to buy my grandmother as her birthday was on the next day. I got home by 8:30 and yes, I looked for cake for more than an hours and a half. I was dead tired. I, then, went to my high school adviser’s mother’s wake. I saw my sister’s classmates. I texted an old classmate. We ate out before going home — pagpag.

My sister’s classmates went home past 12AM on the 13th. I slept around 2 in the morning and woke up by half past 8. It was registration/class slots battle day for the Korean Cultural Center language classes so I had to be early. The registration for Elementary 1, the one I was going to enroll to, should have started by 10 but was pushed to 10:30 and ultimately pushed to 10:40AM. I thankfully got a slot! A friend got a slot but it was for the wrong class and it was disappointing. I want her to study Korean the same time as I do. I went to the mall with my dad until 12:40, when I had to go to class. The traffic was lighter and it was nice to arrive early in class. We did an activity about DNS server using Ubuntu. I had a good time and finished early, but something in me told myself that I should reboot the virtual box. It deleted everything I did using bind9 and had to start over. It was a nice experience. I’m slowly learning by these simple mistakes. The next class at 4, we had to present our project proposals but we had a few mistakes and had to start over. Thankfully, the professor was nice and said the presentation was only for him to be able to correct our errors. We went home early that day as well.

As I am writing this, it is the 14th of January, the last day of the second week of the year. It is 3:10AM and I should be sleeping but as this draft has been here for too long, I planned to publish this on the third day, I told myself I was not going to sleep until this is finished, so here I am on my 1188th word. It’s nice to be able to¬† write again.

I’ll be back with more adjectives next time! Good bye!

Haven’t Had Enough

— Sleep, that’s what.

Today’s the start of the midterm exam week.

I haven’t been able to post much since July and I haven’t exactly had enough sleep. I know I’ve been procrastinating, too, and I have two exams tomorrow yet I am still writing but I haven’t had enough sleep for the past couple of months. Even if I slept at an earlier hour, I’d most probably wake up at 2 in the morning (which is creepy when it happens consecutive times).

What else have I been doing for the past few weeks? I haven’t continued watching Conan and I’m stuck at episode 296. I wish I could get to the latest episode soon. I also hope I could buy the manga available in English.

Recently, I have gotten into collecting again. I feel like it’s really part of who I am. lol I’m going to buy the limited edition stuff I want then save the normal ones for when I get to Korea and hopefully soon, Japan.

I will be passing my application form for the Media Ministry to the local church tomorrow. More work, but I want to serve God.

I got a few penpals recently as well. I have yet to send the letters, but I hope I can send them soon. They’re probably already waiting.

It has been the most tiring semester so far. The Korean class I attended added to the exhaustion, but I enjoyed it so I don’t want to think about it that much. ><

I also want to say that it’s probably been the semester that I have spent so much. I’ve been trying out different food and hanging out with different groups of people who like food. I can’t stop myself from eating because I was told that if it’s food, spend as much money as you can as long as you want to eat. Kinda good, kinda not.

I’ll do my best in my exams and for the last few weeks of the semester. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my CISCO, Advanced Engineering Mathematics, Electronics, and Circuits. They’ve made me cry several times this semester already. But I can’t fail any of the classes I’m enrolled to or I have to say good bye to the 2 week vacation in Korea I am planning. Lol. Also, I’ll be doing it for my future, but mainly for Korea 2017.

My Saturday this week is free so hopefully, I’ll be able to publish the stuff that’s been accumulating dust in my drafts.

I hope everyone takes care! Bye~

Having Such A Name As Mine

My name is Bessie… and it’s troublesome.

I have been given the name Bessie by my parents as they say it came from the name Elizabeth, specifically Queen Elizabeth. My parents would continue on to tell me how unique and beautiful my name is.

In the Philippines, it is an annoying name to have. People would call each other by ‘Bes’, ‘Best’, ‘Bessy’, ‘Beshie’, and a few others which refer to the word ‘best friend’. I’m not exactly sure how it will be in other countries as I have never been or lived overseas. To be honest, I wish it wouldn’t be like this.

Whenever I introduce myself, I would say ‘Hello! I am Bessie’, and most of the time I get these kinds of replies:

  • “Say that again.”
  • “Are you serious?
  • What’s your real name?
  • “Hello, you’re now my best friend.”

Or sometimes, when another person introduces me:

  • “She’s your best friend?”

The ones who call me would sometimes greet me / call me like this:

  • “Oh, everybody’s best friend is here!”
  • “Hey best friend!”

Another problem has come: people have been calling each other ‘bes’ as a joke. It might have started a few weeks ago. A few days back, about three groups of people kept on calling each other ‘bes’ and I had to look at all of them, only to find out that they weren’t calling me.

I started to not give attention when someone says ‘Bes’ or ‘Bessy’. They have to poke me before I turn around.

Although it’s troublesome, I still like that the name I have is unique. I like how I’ve never met someone with the same name, unlike some of the people I know. Sometimes, it does sound pretty cute.

I like it and dislike it, but I would never dream of changing it.

A Bad Day

Haven’t had time to publish posts but I’ll share how my day went today.

First off, I woke up late today and arrived at class late. I failed the quiz, too.

The 3 hours after that was okay. I was with a few classmates and had time to talk to them which was fun.

The worst part of the day came afterwards. During Strength class, a few minutes before the time, the professor asked me to answer something on the board. I have a really big problem with being called and coming in front so I became very tense. I couldn’t answer his question. I didn’t know what the answer was. He started shouting at me and my nervousness worsened. I knew I wasn’t the brightest. At that time, I just wanted to go in front of a running car and die then and there. I wouldn’t have minded, really.

I went back to my seat and he made me go back to the board. He shouted at me again and again. I started to feel really bad about myself. My classmates were, thankfully, shouting what to do.

Before the class was dismissed, I remember crying. I couldn’t stop the tears. I was nervous, scared, and felt so little.

I know I should be, but I really can’t take it when people yell at me. My parents never did. I am not used to it and I usually cry when people shout, even when it’s not directed at me. Yelling at me is ten times worse, though.

I spent about 5 minutes inside the restroom crying and laughing at how pathetic I looked like, why I was crying at something people think is too small to worry about.

The next class was okay. I still spent about 10 minutes tearing up while the professor was discussing about Delta to Wye and Wye to Delta. I figured out what to do when we had a seat work, thankfully.

The ride home was okay. I wasn’t sleepy but I did tear up again every few minutes.

Today was really hard. This week has been hard. At some points, I was tempted to cut myself, tempted to go in front of a running truck to stop all the pain. I want everything to stop.